May Day dancing at Larkhall Festival

may dayOK, this will be short and sweet, like our favourite dance.

After many years of invitations, we’ve finally got our act together and will be appearing at the reportedly splendid Larkhall Festival on May Day.

If you want to see us (and you should), our first appearance will be at around 1:30 on the village green, and we’ll be popping up again throughout the afternoon.

In the evening, we plan (inasmuch as we ever plan anything) to visit a few pubs on a little May Day crawl.

See you there!

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Game of Thrones lends a new member for Tuesday’s practice!

You know nothing, Jon Snow

New recruit? (no)

As they say in Westeros, “You know nothing, Jon Snow!”

Well of course he knows nothing. He hasn’t been to a Northgate practice yet, partly because he’s been busy bleeding to death in the courtyard of Castle Black but mostly because he’s fictional.

Nevertheless, his time has come. We’re practising as usual this Tuesday night in the upstairs bar of the glorious Curfew in Bath.

Come along and join us in playing with vicious swords. And bring your autograph book.

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Threesome super injunction: we name those involved!

judge

Censored!

There’s been a lot of talk recently about the super injunction gagging the press in the hopes of keeping secret the names of those involved in a certain threesome.

We do not agree with such censorship, and are therefore taking it upon ourselves to shine the disinfectant of daylight onto this murky subject.

 

The truth is, the threesome in question is Northgate, beer and blades.

There. We’ve said it. This hasn’t made us happy, but I guess that’s why they call it the blues.

Come along to The Curfew in Bath on Tuesday night to congratulate us on our contempt for the system that allows super injunctions, and while you’re there we’ll teach you how to handle a sword properly.

It’ll come in useful in your own threesome.

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Tax details revealed, immoral profits used wisely

Tax? We love it!

Tax? We love it!

Following the recent revelations from Mossack Fonseca, we in Northgate have been pushed by various media to comment on the details of our own off-shore tax arrangements.

In the interests of transparency, we’d like to take this opportunity to clear things up, set the record straight and give a clear, moral lead to other teams in the UK.

This is a private matter. [Edited]

We will not in future benefit from any off-shore tax arrangements. [Edited]

We had a little bit squirrelled away but cashed it in before DERT. [Edited]

We have decided to publish our tax records, which we were always going to do, obvs. We’d like to make it entirely clear that, though we did have money off-shore for tax purposes, we didn’t enjoy it.

To close this matter once and for all, any and all profits we made under tax previous arrangements will be put towards the ruinously expensive price of a pint at practice on Tuesday night in The Curfew in Bath.

If you are a UK taxpayer come along and claim your sip. It’s your right. Oh, and you can play with swords, too, which is a much better proposition.

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Our logo has returned from foreign parts, so we practise tonight!

Traitor

We decided to me nice and lend our lovely logo, aka Stickman, to the be-tweeded gentlemen of North British for the weekend, because he wanted a bit of a holiday and we considered them to be responsible adults. We may have been a little hasty in this judgement as they took him to Prague, swapped his hoggers and sash for waistcoat and tie, and gave him far too much beer.

But now he’s back with us where he belongs in the beautiful city of Bath.

Now back to normal

Now back to normal

To celebrate this we’re meeting up for our regular Tuesday practice tonight at 19:30 in The Curfew in Bath.

Why not come along and say hello? You’d be jolly welcome.

 

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Surprise name for new research vessel: Boaty McNorthgate

In a ridiculously contrived attempt to garner further attention, the brave sword-wielders of Northgate have led an internet coup and are close to have a new polar research vessel named after them.

Boaty McNorthgate

Boaty McNorthgate? Maybe.

It appears that the naive fools people who are naming the new vessel expected to get a reasoned and sensible response from the British public, clearly never having met any of them before. Northgate have grasped this opportunity firmly and twisted it to their self-promoting advantage by voting the name Boaty McNorthgate to the very top of the list.

The Head of Naming Boats and Things at NERC said in a statement, “I’m saddened at this childish behaviour, although secretly think it’s quite cool. However, we’d rather hoped to name the new boat after some explorer or other, like David Attenborough or that fox from the Glacier Mints adverts.”

The vote runs until April, but if you want to see the naughty boys and their blades, join them at The Curfew in Bath every Tuesday night from 19:30.

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DERT over, and the boys done good

Yes indeed, the competition at this year’s DERT was fierce, intense and of a higher quality than ever before, but the plucky lads from Bath came through it all, broke only one light, and came third in the championship! Hurrah for us.

Here’s a video of us in full DERT action in The Font in Manchester:

We also won an award for Best Injury (although in fairness this was to a poor light, smashed into a thousand shards by a sword), and more embarrassingly we awarded ourselves our own Rapper Wars Award for the same incident because while it’s clear there was little control involved, there was certainly style, clearly aggression and obviously damage. We’re so proud!

Now that’s all over for another year, we’ve resumed our regular Tuesday night practices, so come on down and visit some Officially Good Dancers at The Curfew in Bath, at half past seven. See you there.

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New DERT prize announcement: let the wars begin!

Let the wars begin!

Let the wars begin!

There are scant days remaining before this year’s DERT competition, and Northgate are getting a little excited.

They spent Friday night touring Bristol with the fragrant ladies Silver Flame (the fragrance in question being Eau de Gin).

They spent all day Sunday practising and eating hummus.

They’re spending every night this week polishing shoes, buffing swords, washing shirts and ironing sashes.

 

But more than this, they’ve been watching Robot Wars, because there’s a lot in common between a good robot and a good rapper dance.

So we announce a new prize for DERT, sponsored by Northgate (or Martin, if the team won’t cough up).

The Rapper Wars Prize will be awarded by us to the team best meeting the Rapper Wars criteria of style, control, aggression and damage, and each dancer in that team will win a lovely pint of beer.

We’ll announce the winners whenever we can be bothered, at some point on Saturday, then post the results on Facebook or whatever. It really does mean that much to us.

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Northgate to show Silver Flame a good time – Bristol Crawl on Friday

Shy and retiring Silver Flame

Shy and retiring Silver Flame

Following on from the news that Northgate have been asked to spend the day with Silver Flame in Manchester at DERT in a couple of weeks, we decided to give them a trial run first.

So we’re taking them out for the evening in Bristol this Friday. And to make it even more special, we’ll be letting them dance with us in a variety of lovely pubs.

The plan in this:

8pm         The Colston Yard
8:30pm   The Ship Inn
9pm         The Gryphon
9:30pm   The Christmas Steps

…but this is a Northgate plan, and barely worth the paper it’s written on.

Anyway, if the lovely Silver Flame are good enough company, then we’ll let them join us for the day in Manchester.

Let’s hope it all works out.

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DERT schedule announced: scrumpy-guzzling Wurzel lovers unite as Northgate spend the day with Silver Flame!

Northgate with Silver Flame, playing in Bristol

The running order for the upcoming DERT competition has finally been announced, and Northgate have struck it lucky: we’ll be dancing round the pubs of Manchester with our Bristol-based friends, Silver Flame! What a treat for all of us.

Clearly the canny northerners running this year’s bash are aware that we yokels from the south-west prefer the company of other scrumpy-guzzling Wurzel fans when travelling abroad, and have made suitable arrangements for us. Let’s hope they’ve got some decent Bath buns in so we have something to eat, and a phrasebook to help us understand what people are saying when we get there.

To help us overcome the inevitable culture shock, we’ve designed an intensive course to translate the exciting, foreign things we’ll be facing into their more familiar counterparts.

We’ve started with music from the two areas. This may not be as easy as we’d hoped. Wish us luck.

 

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