Do not forget, people of Bath, that we are bringing our unique brand of bemusing danger to your pubs tonight, starting at 8pm in the King’s Arms.
If you’re trying to avoid Comic Relief, we are the antidote. The only red noses you’ll see on us are those coloured with our own precious blood.
Also, we may have a new recruit. He was hanging around the job centre and clearly had nothing better to do.
Some say he lost his job because a middle-aged man threw a tantrum, and that the only steak he would eat is made from Clarkson’s flesh. All we know is, he’s called The Rapper Stig.